Pen and paper

Thank god I got pen and paper.
If I would say out loud what I think
some people would kill me.
If I would whisper the feelings i have
even my friends would turn their backs on me.
If I would do what I want to
the police would put me in jail forever.
If I would show what the world means to me
the doctors would lock me away.
So I write all those things down.
On this all patient paper.
With this emotionless pen.
Just to lock those sheets away.
Far away from myself.
All what I am.
Put away in that safe place.
Where even I can’t reach it.
Gone for good.
So that I can walk straight out of the front door.
See all the things I just wrote about.
And still being able to smile.
– sanados

Dann laufe ich lieber

Mein Leben lang gelaufen.
Weite Leere vor mir.
Dann bin ich stehen geblieben
und habe mich umgedreht.
Es war niemand da.
Es war noch nie jemand da.
Alleine auf meinem Weg seit je her.
Schließlich habe ich mich nieder gesetzt.
Ich bin angekommen.
Endlich hörte ich die anderen Stimmen.
Das Gelächter.
Die ausgelassenen Feiern.
Lauter nichts sagende Gespräche.
Flache Kommunikation.
Sinnloses Betrinken.
Brüstungen die man nicht fühlt.
Belanglose Leben.
Zeit die nur vergeht weil sie still steht.
Sie sehen mich an und sehen mich nicht.
Ich laufe jetzt wieder.

– sanados

Before you …

Before you release your arrow,
do not think about what you are doing.
Learn to wait.
Be free of yourself.
Leave behind who you are and all that you possess,
so that all that remains of you is pure tension,
without any goal.
Look at the bamboo leaf as under the weight of the snow
it bends further and further down.
The snow falls suddenly from it without the leaf having moved.
Be like the leaf.
Until the tension is maximum,
and the arrow is released,
because when the tension is maximum,
the arrow MUST leave ;
your shot must leave you just as the snow leaves the bamboo leaf “.
There is no better description of pure action and the state of mind it requires.
– one of the last grand masters of Kyudo

– Suzuki

Early but late

We arrived early.
Just minutes passed since we got that call.
A man was standing at the entrance.
It seems that he was waiting to show us in.
I bet he did not think we arrive that soon.
He hasn’t recognized us yet.
Once again we sounded the martin’s horn
and entered the driveway.
Jumping out of the ambulance car
everyone of us grabbed a bag.
We managed to pass the distance to the man in just some seconds.
Already with tons of questions about what happened as we approached him.
Then we came to a halt and calmed down.
We didn’t need to hurry that much.
Minutes passed as we just stood there.
He was not waiting for us.
Not waiting for anything anymore.
We could hardly see the spear through his chest that was keeping him upright.
– sanados